Hakuna Mattata

I flipped out today...

This week I gave tests to my two tenth grade classes. Yesterday was 10A, and, as predicted, they did horribly. One could argue that the test was too hard. 10 questions, mostly multiple choice and fill in the blanks. Also a few grammatically incorrect sentences that needed to be fixed: “I am student”, that kind of thing. Maybe the test was too difficult, but after a month of study, one would hope that the students can fill in the blank for “I ______ an English book”. It was amazing how many “I am an English book” responses I received. This is the same test I gave to my 11th graders last week, and they all did well on it, despite one student changing “Mr. Sean have a blue coat” to “Mr. Sean have a blue cat.”

Today, however, I saw a record number of blank stares. We reviewed the material two days before the test, and gave them practice examples taken from the actual test minutes before the exam was handed out. I explained the kinds of questions that the test would have, saying in English and Kyrgyz that these are the same questions that will be on the test. “Do you all understand?” “Yes, Mr. Sean.” “Does anyone have questions?” “No, Mr. Sean.” I handed out the test and spent the first five minutes trying to make them understand that that they have to write their names at the top of the paper (“Yes, please, in English.”). I took one student’s test away from him for cheating, having explained earlier that looking at others papers would not be tolerated. One student kept repeating to me, in Russian, the only language he speaks, that he doesn’t understand. No shit. The test (10 questions) took the better part of half an hour. When I had finally collected all the tests, I was shaking I was so frustrated. I immediately turned on “The Lion King” and had them watch that for the rest of the period. I graded the exams and was amazed at their performance. The average was a two, the Kyrgyz equivalent of a D. This obviously didn’t help my mood, but some of the responses were great.

One of my questions was “Mike ________ engineer” with three possible answers, the correct being “is an”. I explained in English and Kyrgyz, that ‘Mike’ is an American name and ‘engineer’ they knew, since it is a Russian cognate. Later in the fill in the blank section, I had two sentences “A lemon _____ sour” and “Basketball and Baseball ________ sports”. All the students had to do is chose from the list on the right, either is or are, and write them in the blank. One student, in an amazing display of misunderstanding wrote: “A lemon mike sour” and “Basketball and baseball mike sports”. WTF?!?! How he came to these answers I have no idea, but it when I read that I couldn’t help but laugh hysterically and then slump down onto my desk. My students could tell that I was on edge and nervously continued watching “The Lion King”. For twenty minutes I stared out the window at the falling snow and contemplated everything from quitting and going home to saying screw it and teaching my 10th graders Spanish. Obviously they are getting nothing from my teaching and would use Spanish about as much as they will use English anyway. While contemplating switching to una lingua nueva, Timon and Pumbaa started singing ’Hakuna Matata’. “They have a point,“ I thought, “No worries sounds pretty good.”

I decided their and then that I won’t teach 10th grade anymore. Since we are not actually employees of our schools, volunteers can pretty much demand schedule changes at any time. I told my counterpart that I can’t teach those kids anymore. He asked that I give them another chance, since it wouldn’t be fair to deny them the opportunity to work with the American volunteer (this from the teacher who hand picks his students, taking the advanced speakers, and leaving the other teachers with the leftovers). I told him flat out: no. I won’t waste my time any longer teaching students with whom I can barely even communicate and who frankly don’ t care about English anyway. I want to work with the students who have an interest in the language. I do fine with my 8th, 9th, and 11th grades because they speak some English. Those grades have English lessons twice as often as the 10th grade and it shows. I can do fun activities that emphasize conversation and vocabulary. I can communicate to the other classes. I don’t have the Kyrgyz skills necessary to teach 10th grade, most likely never will. My job is to teach conversational English to kids who will actually use it, not grammar rules and parts of speech. I love teaching my other classes, especially the advanced English club, but if I have to keep teaching 10th form I’m going to flip out and eventually end up on an early flight home.

WHEW! Ok, that’s really enough bitching about 10th grade. They are good kids (for the most part) and I really wish I could help them, but I’ll be much happier if I never teach them again…Beyond that, nothing really new to report. Elise visited last weekend and we had a great time. Only seeing her one weekend a month definitely doesn’t help my stress level. Also it has started to get bitterly cold. We are halfway through a “childaire” which I’m told is Kyrgyz for “forty days of ass-cold weather”. It’s freezing here now, and lots of snow has fallen. I can’t wait for spring. This weekend, I’m off to a remote village a few hours north of here to hang out with a some other volunteers. Should be the usual drinking, eating way too much and bitching about why this country sucks. Should be fun… (2-6-05 addition: Party was great, very cold though, and I just ate it on a patch of ice...)
Ok, I hope everyone is well. I’ll keep you up to date on the latest. Later.