From the Onion

Words of Wisdom

"And what am I supposed to do with this class, the first in my whole teaching career...pelting each other with chalk, erasers, bolgna sandwiches? When I walk in and place my books on the teacher's desk they'll surely stop throwing things. But they don't. They ignore me and I don't know what to do till the words come out of my mouth, the first words I ever utter as a teacher, Stop throwing sandwiches. They look at me as if to say, Who's this guy?"

--From 'Tis, by Frank McCourt

Well we finally made it rafting...

...and like most things in Korea, it was kinda lame. We all had a good time but it's not something I'd recommend doing nor would I ever do it again.

We had been out till 3:30 on Friday night eating Turkish food and drinking to celebrate Michelle's birthday. So when my alarm rang at 6 am, Sarah and I slept right through it. My coworkers knocked at 6:30 and we jumped out of bed to get ready. Adam opened the door to find me in my underwear groggily trying to wake myself up.

"You ready to go?" he asked.

Pause. "Umm. I'm gonna need a minute."

We threw some things in a bag and hopped on the subway to Busan Station, picking up friends along the way. There were 17 of us, Korean's and foreigners alike. We got on a bus and what we were told was a 90 minute ride turned into a three hour ride due to traffic. This was made worse by the hangover and the old Korean woman who would yell "NO" and hit my seat everytime I tried to recline it.

After a few stops and a break for lunch (Why did you put corn on my hotdog? Why?) we arrived at the river, ready to raft. But is it really a river if you can safely walk across it? At it's deepest points it was maybe 10 feet deep and no portions of the entire stretch could be described as rapid. It was beautiful though if you could look past the parts where the river that wound under a huge concrete overpass... We sat through a safety demonstration where we learned how to put on a lifevest and a helmet both of which were unnecessary considering the river we were about to conquer. We broke off into two teams and carried our raft down to the water. Which turned out to be lukewarm due to the heatwave we've been experiencing. We were given an explanation of how to paddle which was translated by one of my coworkers and we set off down the river.

Again, at no point during the 90 minute ride did we encounter any actual rapids or feel in the least bit frightened. It was rather peaceful, floating along trying to splash other rafters (there were probably 2o rafts on the river at a time). But peaceful was not what we were expecting. Apparently it was much better the year before, the level of the river being so much higher. We had a good time, laughing and enjoying the sun but 6 hours on a bus for two hours at the river was hardly worth it. Oh well.

Sinpyeong

It's been 7 months and I haven't put a picture of home up yet. Sarah took these pictures a few weeks ago during a rooftop BBQ with my coworkers.

Note the smoke stacks and poluted river in the background.

In Prague lots of people lived in panalaks, big, goverment subsidized aparment buildings that were made completely of concrete and each was indistiguishable from one another. Here is the Korean version.

These are warehouses, of which there are many in my neighborhood. They are surrounded by small shacks and shanties thus giving my neighborhood an air of industrial revolution era quaintness.

While you would be hardpressed to call Sinpyeong beautiful (fucking ugly more easily springs to mind) it's my home and it's kinda grown on me. Once you look past the litter and get over the pervasive fishy smell it's really not that bad...

What?!? Why?!?

So I live about twenty minutes from Dadaepo beach, a nondescript swath of sand which would be beautiful if it wasn't fed into by the slightly polluted Nakdonggang river. It's a really strange beach too. It's probably 200 yards from the seawall to the surf; a long, flat stretch the entire way. The water, brown and cloudy, extends into a long bay and into the South Sea beyond. It remains flat the entire way out which means you can walk a good 60 feet out into the water and only be submerged up to your chest. And probably due to the flatness, not a bit of current or undertow can be detected.

It is a nice enough place to swim, or would be if not for the evil lifeguards. At 6 o'clock the lifeguards blow their whistles and call everyone out of the water. Swimming is done for the day and no one can go in the water. The first time we had been to the beach we had only been there for half and hour before they shut everything down. We were perplexed. How can they close a beach? We searched for signs of sharks or giant, man-eating squid but found nothing to explain the closure.

This comes, however, from a culture where beaches are only "open" from July till September 1st. The beaches are crammed with Koreans during this "swimming season" and are abandoned as soon as the 1st of September rolls around, regardless of the weather or outside temperature.

The second time we visited the beach, we got there early but were again called back by lifeguards when we started swimming. We were waved at and whistled at until we were only 7 feet from the shore, where the water was up to our ankles. Whenever we tried to sneak back out we only made it to knee-deep water before being called in again. "What?!? Why?!?!" we asked, but only received vigorous head shaking and more whistle blowing in response.

We couldn't understand it at all and were forced to stand in the surf watching as children frolicked around us blissfully unaware that you could actually swim if you went in another 30 feet.

Anyway, the uber-controlling lifeguards, moderate level of pollution and not uncommon sightings of people wearing jeans and long-sleeved shirts to the beach have put me off for a bit. I'll just do what all the other foreigners do: wait till the beaches are deserted in September. It'll still be hot then and I'll be able to swim wherever I damn well please.

Summer Break

The trip to Seoul and the Incheon concert went really well, despite the high travel costs, torrential rain and (later) blistering heat.

Sarah and I left Busan Wednesday night and arrived in Seoul a bit before midnight which left us just enough time to check into a hotel and have a few drinks with Katie before we both crashed for the night. Thursday we had planned on going to the DMZ but we opted out of that saying that it was too far away and too expensive ($60). Also, Katie made an excellent point: "It's just a line that you can't cross with people staring at you on the other side. I'll stare at you for free and you don't have to go anywhere..." So we braved the rain and went shopping instead, ultimately spending $120 on used books. We may have gone a bit overboard but books in English are gold here. We spent at the evening at Carne Station, which is quite possibly the best restaurant in Seoul. It's all you can eat, all you can drink (liquor, wine and beer) for only $22. We were the last people out of the restaurant and afterwards found a nori-bong where we sung till 2.

Friday Sarah and I left for Incheon a suburb outside of Seoul for the concert. It was an hour or so by subway and we managed to find the venue without too much trouble. It started raining as soon as we got in and we set up our tent and arrived just in time to miss the Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs, which was a big disappointment. At this point it started pouring down rain, and this, when mixed with the dirt field the concert was being held in created a bog of mud that we wallowed in for the next three days. We headed back to the campsite to find our tent in a puddle and spent an hour finding a new spot and moving our things. That night though we saw Snow Patrol, Jason Mraz and The Strokes (who I had confused in my mind with The Stills). Snow Patrol and Jason Mraz were great and The Strokes were OK, though I would have rather they had been The Stills.... After the main shows we went to the DJ stage and I danced my ass off while Sarah looked on with what I'm sure was a mix of confusion and pity for my hapless dancing. Whatever. I had fun.

We returned to our tent to find that water had seeped through the floor (and ground mat) and soaked my sleeping bag. Despite the uncomfortable conditions, Sarah was asleep instantly leaving me awake to plan an early morning escape.

I was up at 7:30, packed and ready to move. One night sleeping in a damp tent was enough for me. I woke up Sarah and we were in a hotel before 9. A love hotel actually, which are quite popular here and where you have to pay in 12 hour increments. The rooms themselves are nice and have complimentary condoms and free porn to go along with the circular bed. (Side note: Korean pornography is horribly non-explicit and in only remotely arousing). We spent the next two nights there and it was great not to sleep in a puddle.

Saturday evening we returned to the mud and saw The Black Eyed Peas which was entertaining but not really our thing. Also, they spent so much time mentioning Korea in their set that it eventually became annoying. After BEP's was Placebo who I had listened to before I left and thought was just OK. They KICKED ASS LIVE and after a second listen I'm sold. Do yourself a favor and download Meds, their new album.

Sunday was the day we were both looking forward to the most and the weather that day changed from cold, wet and muddy to fucking hot. Franz Ferdinand was the headliner and we were twenty feet from the stage when they went on. And they were awesome! Definitely the best show we saw and worth the two hours of waiting near the front holding a spot near the stage. We spent most of the time there continuing a game we had been playing all weekend: counting the number of foolish Korean wearing high heeled shoes. IN ANKLE DEEP MUD. We counted 28 women on Sunday alone.

We headed back to Seoul on Monday, exhausted and near broke. We stuck around in the city long enough to check out DVD Burger, an awesome restaurant that rents DVDs and sells hamburgers the size of pizzas. Despite these luxuries, the heat in the city was too much so we called it and headed back to Busan two days early. We spent the last two days of vacation drinking and playing cards with our friends, BBQing, watching 24 and going to the beach. The whole week was great and exactly the break I needed.