Blah, Blah, Blah...I'm moving to Korea

Hey. First off, let me say that I'm sorry for not updating my blog at all as of late. I've been really busy (read: lazy) and just haven't been able to find the time (read: I've been drinking my time away). I am planning on writing a bunch of articles, each one highlighting a particular quirk or feature of Czech life. Each one will be funny or tragic as the subject dictates but more than likely I'll never get around to it so don't hold your breath.

Honestly, nothing that phenominal has happened lately. I've just been working and hanging out mostly. It's started to snow here and I've aquired a deep, burning hatred for the cold. A few funny stories and happenings but nothing too big. Mostly I've spent the last few weeks planning my escape. Come December my Czech chapter is going to end. I'm heading home to SD on the 19th and by February I hope to be in sunny South Korea (Fun Fact: South Kora is not sunny, it's just as cold as Prague).

That's right. I'm abandoning this former Communist country in favor of the next best thing: a democratic country neighboring a current Communist country. Why, do you ask? Because I hate the teaching system here! A twenty hour workweek, a combined three hour a day commute and teaching old boring businessmen who honestly don't need English anyway. I have a handful of students I actually like working with, but most of my classes are about getting through the hour instead of having fun. I miss teaching kids and having a classroom and wroking a full day. These are all things I can get in Korea. Plus with a salary that is three to four times higher and a free apartment, I'd be a fool not to go there. I have some friends teaching there now and I'm going to go with my girlfriend so adjusting to Korea should be easy. Minimum contract length is 1 year so I should be out there for a while. But first I'm heading home for 4 - 8 weeks. I hope to see as may people as I can and make a few trips. See everyone in a month.

This week is my last week teaching for my agency and I plan on spending my last month in Prague visiting museums, the castle and any pubs I might have missed during my tenure. Plus a few day trips to areas around the Czech Republic and, hopefully, a trip to Spain and a trip to Budapest (City of Cathedrals! I see you right there on the Bridge of the Danube kid...) I'll be applying for Korea jobs as well and I'll let you all know what the specifics are once I know them. Talk to you later.

Dear Prague,

Yeah. Not gonna lie to you: Not really digging the whole sun setting at 4.30 thing. Anything you could do to change that would be great. Thanks,

Sean

P.S. And could you make Hlavni Nadrazi not smell like ass while you're at it?

Culture

There are three things that the Czechs really dig. Ice hockey, football and the opera (beer would certainly take the top spot on this list, but it’s so ubiquitous, it’s not necessary to mention it). Since I’ve done nothing cultural since I’ve been here (except sample the beer) I decided that I should experience these three things. Admittedly, I would have only considered the first two if only one of my students hadn’t given me her ticket to the opera, which, was an experience.

I had never been to an opera before and I kept thinking of that Bugs Bunny cartoon where Elmer Fudd is a Viking singing that he must “Kill the wabbit, Kill the waaaabbit!” Anyway, when I was given the ticket I was excited to be trying something new. I got dressed up and made my way to the opera house for the nights performance of Rigoletto, an Italian opera about a court jester, his master and some servant girl that the master’s boffing. I got all this information from the synopsis in the playbill which is good because I didn’t understand a God damn thing while the play was going on. I knew it would be in Italian but thought I could follow along by just watching the actors. The Czech translation that flashed above the stage certainly didn’t help any and I was bored after 20 minutes. And it’s trouble when I get bored. I started fidgeting and singing the Czech translation under my breath. I considered punching the man next to me in the leg to see how he would react. I counted the globes in the chandelier. Decided which of the cast members I’d most like to have sex with. Needless to say I would have been hard pressed to stay through a whole 3 hour production. I bolted at the intermission. “How was the opera?” my student asked later. “Well the building was beautiful…”

Hockey was another matter. Sparta Praha vs. a team from Znojmo, which is located either in southern Czech Republic or on the planet Mars. We sat in the stands drinking beer and eating fat Czech sausages (which I’ll trade for a Dodger Dog for any day). It was a lot of fun and the crowd was pretty excited despite the arena being only half full. We got there ten minutes late and Znojmo was already up by a goal. Sparta answered back in the second period to tie it 1-1. Then in the third, Znoymo scored on a bullshit shot that barely managed to squeeze past the goalie. We lost 2-1, but while we were there we were singing and cheering as if we actually knew a thing about hockey. I surprised to learn that unlike American hockey, there is no checking allowed in the Czech Republic. Taking away the player’s ability to slam their opponents against a wall of reinforced glass seems wrong. I mean, that’s hockey. A sport that averages 3 to 4 goals a game needs something to keep the spectators entertained, and that something is violence. Get on that Czech Republic.

As far as football (soccer) is concerned, I’m pretty sure the rules are the same. This is the last cultural event that I want to experience while I’m here. I made plans to go to a game earlier in the week but found out just hours before the game that it was being played in Amsterdam. This lead to a stern talking to with my flat mate Kirsten that when I ask “when’s the next Sparta game?” of course I mean the next home game. I’m sure I’ll get to a game soon and when I do I’ll cheer my little hometeam-bandwagon heart out.

Halloween kinda sucked

I was really excited for Halloween this year. Coming from UC Santa Barbara where Halloween is an epic, week-long event I wanted my first (and last) 'ween in Prague to be awesome.

It started off with a great costume idea. You see, in Prague there are no parking meters anywhere, and in the old Communist spirit of giving everyone a job even (or especially) if they are useless, there are parking attendants everywhere. They usually sit on the sidewalk on a folding chair or in a nearby pub waiting for someone to come along and park their car. The attendant then gets up, takes the driver's money and puts a ticket on their windshield, then resumes either his newspaper or beer. Is this the noble working class that was once so well regarded under Communism? Either way these guys wear some snazzy clothes. Big, bright colored overalls not unlike those that the Mario Brothers wear. Passing an attendant on the street one day inspiration struck and a great costume idea was it's fruit.

I first pitched the idea to Michelle who said that "couples costumes are lame". Fair point. I then suggested the idea to my friend Nikki who agreed on the condition that she be Mario. I agreed and the hunt for a store that sold those uniforms began. It took only a few hours but since we had put it off til the last minute, there was a certain degree of suspense. Seeing the genius of our costume others tried to jump on the bandwagon. There was talk of Toby being Toad and Katie being "that Raccoon dude" from Mario 3, who we later learned was named Tanooki (file that gem of information away). These ideas fell apart and the only one to really embrace the idea was Michelle who made a great Princess Toadstool.

We had a surprisingly crowded Halloween party at Nikki And Katie's flat and after everyone was sufficiently trashed, wandered down to Nebe, our favorite hangout. Nebe (heaven in Czech) was having a Halloween party of their own. A half hour into the party we realized that Katie was missing. I went to look for her and found her swaying on the stairway. I helped her down stairs but then decided she was too drunk to stand and I suggested that we head outside to get some air. She protested and the bouncer noticed her and told us both to leave. With some difficulty I got her back upstairs where she kept demanding be be let in again. We sat outside for half and hour or so in the cold where Katie decided to try to make out with me.

Seeing this night spiraling out of control I enlisted the help of a friend and we tried to get Katie into a cab to take her home. This was interupted by Katie breaking away and trying once agin to get into Nebe an once again being kicked out by the bouncer. We got her into a cab and were told by the driver (in gestures and Czech) that if Katie puked the ride would cost 1000 crown. We made it to her flat without incident and somehow got her upstairs and into bed. The whole process was exhausting and by the time I got back to Nebe I was sober and pissed off. Not my ideal Halloween, babysitting a friend and losing my buzz in the meantime, but certainly not an uneventful one.